Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Animal Scans

Went for my animal scans today PET/CAT/MRI. I don’t know why they all sound like something that is supposed to be cute because they are not. In the morning, as I walked in to the Roy Disney Cancer Center I almost began to weep. Thankfully, I no longer enter in to this with fear not knowing what to expect because I do. It was just walking in the door again. There, going through this crazy cancer journey are so many people. Some have the look of shock with wide eyes of fear knowing they have just heard those awful words "you have cancer" . Some with all stages of hair loss from the thinning hair to the complete baldness, some wear hats to hide, some just have gotten so use to the baldness they wear it proudly knowing they are still here. I fit somewhere in between all of them I am no longer shaking with fear, and have lost my look of shock, but I am still scared to accept the familiarity of all of this. I like denial it keeps me safe it keeps me not accepting a death sentence and yet it does keep me hoping that I will live to see my healing. So I was grateful today that this reality has changed my life for the better. So gratefully, I have such a loving Father that held my hand the whole time.

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