Some days I feel like Lilo’s doll Scrump
I know it is a little bit dramatic but I do feel like a sewn together doll, thanks to the ravages left from all of my surgeries. I know I am blessed that most of my scars cannot be seen with my clothes on, and I have seen what others have gone through and it could be so much worse. Most of all I am blessed to be alive! But… I have THOSE days when I see myself and I long for the days before cancer. I do realize it is all vanity, but occasionally I do have THOSE days, and sometimes it just makes me sad.
Funny thing is my Grandbabes find it fascinating. They have no idea why I have these scars they only know that I had some “bad stuff” taken out. In the beginning, I was so afraid they would only see me as the sick Grandma and it use to be a huge fear of mine. But that is not how it turned out at all, they think that is just how I am, and I am their little SHOW AND TELL doll. They are always asking if they can see them, I know it is somewhat freaky I agree, but they are all under five years old they are just babes, and they think it is great. They also think it is great to see a praying mantis or a large beetle. What is my heart’s desire is they will know when they get older is that their Grandma was touched by God and lived her life with joy. When they come to the age of trials in their lives, they will remember my trials and know that God will always be there for them too, for they were a witness to His unfailing love. No matter how hard the trial is or how they may want to give up, they will remember the testimony of my life and will have the confidence knowing God will never leave them. They may know the pain of the scars but they will remember the joy in the story.
How about you do you have any scars? My hope is that you do, NO not scars that are visible to the eye, but a scar where the “bad stuff” was taken out. Maybe you have a scar where God took out your hard heart and gave you a heart full of Christ love. Or a scar where you had small clenched fists and God gave you new open hands for giving. Do you have a scar on your eyes where you were blind to the need of others and God gave you new eyes to see? Or maybe, just maybe you have a scar that reaches from the top of your head to the soles of your feet where God made you whole. Be a testimony of hope to someone’s life, share your story, and be that SHOW AND TELL person God has called you to be.